Sunday, January 23, 2011

Lighten Up!

It's a theme in my life lately. Some people in my life who love me have been reminding me to'lighten up!". Good advice. Like everyone else I sometimes take myself too seriously. As one friend reminded me, you don't want to go through life always looking like a deer caught in the headlights. A travel blogger friend of mine posted today about making choices about how you are going to live your life and the importance getting out of your own way and living the life you want. This is a wise lady. She seems to always have a smile on her face and an intense love of life.

Sunday is my day to visit a local farm to purchase fresh produce and eggs. It is owned by a young couple who work like mad and are living their dream. They are into growing organic vegetables and raising livestock and chickens. Everyone in their "right" mind who had anything to do with farming tried to dissuade them from being farmers. It's a lot of work for little return. But it is their dream and they went for it. And they are happy. And you are happy for them! They are the coolest thing since the post it note! And I am getting organic farm fresh produce freshly picked today in the middle of January. The middle of January!

So what does this have to do with eating vegan? Maybe not so much. But on the way there I was listening to A Prairie Home Companion and today was joke day. Garrison Keiler stated today that while everyone was calling for more civility in lieu of recent events in Arizona, that he thought what we needed was to be telling each other more jokes. You can't argue with that. And, some of the jokes were vegan jokes. Hilarious! And really, how many times have you met a humorless vegan? Lot's I bet.

So, here goes. Vegan jokes. I am going to lighten up!

-Why did the tofu cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken.

-How can you tell who is vegan at a dinner party?
Don't worry, they will tell you.

-What does a vegan zombie eat?

-Did you hear about the vegan cannibal?
He only ate swedes!

-How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can't change anything!

-A vegan guy is shopping at Whole Foods and takes his little canvas tote to the checkout line where an attractive young lady checks out his purchases. She notices that his bag contains one apple, one orange, one cereal bar, one pound of tofu and one can of V8. She looks up at him and asks "Are you by any chance single?" Vegan guy can't believe his luck and thinks he is about to score. "Why yes actually, I am single. What makes you think that?" She says, "Because you are so f__king ugly".

-Why does vegan cheese taste bad?
Because it hasn't been tested on mice.

-What is the vegan's favorite pickup line?
"If I said you had the body of an all natural,organic living, animal loving, environment nurturing,whale saving sex machine, would you hold it against me? Please?"

And if you ever see me looking like a deer caught in the headlights or taking myself too seriously, go ahead and give me a good swift kick in the ass!

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